Tag: Psychology

Do What Sucks

June 28th, 2023
Self-help books often suggest identifying your strengths and focusing on them exclusively. However, this approach may lead to minimal self-improvement. For instance, if you’re a talented runner, you can still enhance your performance by working on your time or distance. Nonetheless, it is crucial to acknowledge your weaknesses and areas where you struggle and put effort into improving them. It’s unrealistic to be skilled at everything, but striving for progress and competence is essential. By concentrating on areas where you struggle, you can make significant progress compared to small improvements in areas where you excel. Furthermore, ignoring your weaknesses may cause problems in the future. Taking proactive measures to improve in areas that challenge you puts you ahead of the game and engaged in self-improvement.

Coffee Note: The Department for the Environment and Energy in Hamburg, Germany has stated that coffee pods contribute to “wasteful resource consumption” and “frequently contain environmentally harmful aluminum.” Coffee pods are among several products prohibited for use on office premises by city employees.
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Extreme Vulnerability

June 19th, 2023
Have you ever felt like you and your partner aren’t as close as you want to be, but you can’t quite put your finger on why? It’s possible that neither of you are allowing yourselves to be vulnerable enough. It may seem counterintuitive, but being vulnerable is crucial for building intimacy and feeling secure in your relationship. The catch is that to be truly vulnerable, you have to be okay with the possibility that your relationship may not last forever. All relationships eventually come to an end, whether through a breakup, separation, divorce, or death. Vulnerability means intentionally putting yourself in a position where you could be hurt. If we can accept that heartbreak is a part of the package when entering a relationship, then we stop trying to protect ourselves from potential pain. We also learn to trust our own ability to cope with the end of a relationship or seek support if needed. The irony is that by letting go of our defenses, we become more approachable and less distant. We can also listen more openly and accept our own imperfections and those of our partner, without constantly searching for signs that might lead to hurt.

Coffee Note: As of 2022, Starbucks boasts a global network of 35,711 stores, with a larger number of locations located outside of their home nation of the United States. Specifically, the number of international stores totals 19,838, while domestic stores amount to 15,873.
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Nothing That Supports

June 16th, 2023
As humans, we tend to prioritize things in our lives over our own well-being. However, it’s important to remember that nothing that supports something can be more important than the thing it is supporting – and that thing is you. While we may have beloved items like a favorite hoodie or t-shirt, they are replaceable. You, on the other hand, are irreplaceable. I often hear people say that work takes priority over family, but the truth is that losing a job is tough, but losing your family is even tougher. By understanding the role that objects play in our lives, we can reduce anxiety and gain perspective on their true importance.

Coffee Note: On average, Norwegians drink five cups of coffee per day
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The Two Essential Aspects Your Partner Needs

June 13th, 2023
When considering a potential partner, it’s important to evaluate both their likability and capability. While likability may seem more important due to its romantic connotations, capability is equally crucial. For instance, if a co-worker is pleasant but unable to perform their job, they may lose their job. Similarly, if a co-worker is unpleasant but skilled, they may also face termination. Having likability without capability can lead to instability, while having capability without likability can be dull. Therefore, achieving a balance between these two aspects is key to building a successful relationship. In future posts, we will delve deeper into both of these aspects.

Coffee Note: Creme Puff, the cat who holds the Guinness World Record for being the oldest cat ever at 38 years old, had a daily habit of drinking coffee throughout her entire life.
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On Cars & People

June 12th, 2023
Have you ever owned a used car that didn’t quite meet your expectations? Perhaps it had stains, a strange odor, or noticeable dents and scratches. Every time you got in, you were unsure if it would start smoothly or make loud noises down the street. And when your friend showed off their new luxury car, it was hard to hide your lack of enthusiasm. On the other hand, maybe you have a car that may not be flashy, but is clean, reliable, and makes you happy every time you drive it. In this scenario, when your friend gets a high-end car, you feel genuinely excited for them and would love to take a ride in it.

I’ve noticed that people’s reactions to others’ successes can be telling of their own happiness and confidence. Those who are unhappy or insecure tend to struggle to offer sincere congratulations or may do so with a forced or half-hearted approach. However, those who are content in their own lives and confident in themselves are quick to celebrate others’ accomplishments with true sincerity and without any hint of jealousy or competition.

Coffee Note: I stand corrected, California has joined the coffee industry as well, with many farms producing high-end, expensive bags of coffee.
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The 10 to 15 Minute Window

June 11th, 2023
Our relationships serve as our sanctuary and refuge in life. However, it’s unrealistic to keep our outside life separate from our relationships. Furthermore, leading a life without anyone to witness it can be a lonely experience. While discussing our daily experiences with our partner is acceptable, have you ever questioned why we feel the need to solve each other’s problems? This is often a result of feeling distressed. Most individuals can only tolerate 10 to 15 minutes of listening to someone vent before their emotions are affected and they feel compelled to find a solution. Unfortunately, this can result in conflicts and arguments. It’s crucial to recognize that this is a sign that we need to transition and shift our focus. Doing so can assist the other person in moving from their workday to their relationship. If we solely talk about work after a long day at work, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to unwind and relax. By transitioning, we create space and time to decompress and de-escalate.

Coffee Note: Did you know that coffee beans are actually seeds? They are found in the cherry-like berries of flowering shrubs, and we refer to them as “beans” due to their similarity to legumes.
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The Problem With Eliminating Anger

June 9th, 2023
As previously mentioned, anger can be a result of unexpressed emotions. However, there are various aspects to this emotion. Anger can trigger the flight or fight response, which causes movement. This is why abusers often try to take away your right to be angry by criticizing you when you express it, causing you to doubt yourself and your judgment. Consequently, you are left with negative emotions such as sadness or hurt, which hinders movement and makes it difficult to take action. It is our response to anger that determines our mental and emotional well-being, not the feeling itself. For example, it is important to know when to disengage from or de-escalate a heated conversation, as opposed to resorting to violence.

Coffee Note: Interesting, the only state in the United States to grow coffee is Hawaii.
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Redefining Failure

June 8th, 2023
It is crucial to acknowledge areas where improvement is needed, rather than solely focusing on one’s strengths. Failure serves as a valuable tool in identifying these areas. When we experience failure, it presents an opportunity for reflection, growth, and progress. Avoiding stepping out of our comfort zone and only sticking to what we’re already good at can cause us to miss out on significant potential for personal development. It’s important to note that some failures may seem unfair or beyond our control, but they can still be an opportunity to improve our character. By embracing failure, we become less avoidant and more engaged, leading to greater strength and resilience.

Coffee Note: The Speciality Coffee Association recommends the best temperature to brew coffee is 200°F (93.33°C). But it’s hard to be exact, so generally any where between 195°F to 205°F (90°C to 96°C) should produce a good cup of coffee.
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A Safe Place (Anxiety/Depression)

June 7th, 2023
Sometimes, anxiety and depression can be the result of being in a safe environment and having enough time to ponder. For example, when you get into a car accident, you might feel primal anxiety, which is the kind that triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response. This type is usually a result of something that you need to address in order to be ok. The type of anxiety that I’m referring to, on the other hand, is more like sitting on the sidewalk, worrying about how you’re going to make it to work if you don’t have a car anymore, and feeling depressed about the situation. It’s crucial to understand this because when we experience anxiety or depression, it can feel like an urgent and overwhelming situation. However, if we remind ourselves that we can only feel this way when nothing is happening, we can take a moment to catch our breath, reassess the situation, and find effective coping strategies. This realization can often make all the difference in navigating anxiety or depression successfully, rather than wondering why our coping mechanisms aren’t working. Note: anxiety stemming from traumatic experiences is different and I will definitely be discussing it later.

Coffee note: Coffee and Water – Coffee is approximately 98% water. The quality of the water used to brew coffee can significantly impact its taste. Ideally, filtered water or water with a balanced mineral content is recommended for the best brewing results
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Why use Labels in Relationships?

June 5th, 2023
Have you ever experienced confusion or difficulty in a relationship due to a lack of clear labels? It’s not uncommon for friends who start a romantic relationship without discussing the change in title to end up feeling hurt, confused, or unsure of what’s appropriate. However, a title shouldn’t be seen as a burden or restriction. Rather, it’s simply a description of the nature of a relationship. Titles can help to clarify expectations and boundaries. Like talking about a diagnosis, they provide general understanding. For example, if someone from a different culture or the LGBTQ community tells me they are married, I have a general understanding of what that means, although there may be cultural or personal differences that need to be discussed. It’s important to note that while labels can be helpful, they don’t guarantee safety or a particular outcome. They’re more like guidelines to help navigate the relationship.

Coffee Note: The most expensive coffee in the world is called Kopi Luwak, or civet coffee. It is made from coffee beans that have been eaten and excreted by a civet cat. The digestion process is believed to enhance the flavor of the coffee beans.
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Tag: Psychology

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